"Oh—so you've, um, come up through the system, as it were?" John has become
very interested in hearing from people like this in particular—people who
have not only been here a while, but completed program, as it were. "I—I
don't want to pry so please feel free to tell me to bug off, but could I
ask you a little about ... what that was like? And why you've stayed?"
"Came back, technically. I was out in the world for four years before I came back," B admits. Nine years, technically, but he'd missed five of them. It's complicated, easier to just count the actual years he remembers. "But yeah, I graduated, and I don't mind talking about it. Where I come from is kinda upsetting, though, just to warn you."
"Fair enough. I, ah, I doubt any of us come from places that are entirely
fields of daisies, though," John says wryly. "So ... what was it like, to
go through ... all this? And to return?"
"I mean, it's probably different for everybody. Me, I was." He pauses, ruffles the back of his hair, keeps walking. "I was part of a pretty shitty organization. They would wipe my memories every few days, kept me in cryofreeze when I wasn't on a mission or in training. Pretty intensive conditioning, beyond standard brainwashing. I had to learn how to be an actual person. And to think for myself. And to learn that killing people on reflex is a pretty bad thing, actually. And to not hit things when I'm any flavor of angry, afraid, or upset."
"Good grief." John's eyes are wide with dismay, and he feels genuinely
sorry for what this man went through. "That must have been ... how long did
that—how long were you here, for that?"
"I was on the Barge a year before I graduated," B says. "I hear that's actually about average, for somebody who's really working at it. It was. Really, this was the first place I felt loved in eighty years. That's probably why I came back."
"Yeah, community. Not everyone-- a lot of people on this boat don't really get along. But enough that there's multiple people involved in trying to help each other," B agrees with a nod. "The warden-inmate model is okay for some people, I guess, but I tend to think it takes a village to really help somebody."
He offers John a little smile. "I'm happy to be part of your village, if you want me, man. I'm never sure what somebody's gonna need, but I can at least give it a go."
"Thank you." John smiles broadly, looking significantly more relaxed than
he had at the beginning of their conversation. "I appreciate that—I, well,
no man is an island and all that. Right now I think that, ah, most of my
stuff is taken care of? But it's good to know I can count on you."
B nods. Always important to have those basics taken care of. Though he supposes he wouldn't call communion stuff "basics", he's also not a priest. "Good. If the food supply ever dries up, let e guy know? Can't do much for the communion stuff, but I got connections for the other." He could even offer his own arm, if it came down to it, but he's not fond of that option.
"Of course. Thank you. I—I think I'll be all right, for now." He smiles.
"And I won't ... I promise, I'm going to be working very hard not to do
anything stupid again."
"Hey, man, I'm not here to scold or play babysitter. Everybody fucks up now and then, loses it for a little bit. Then we pick ourselves up again and keep going." He leans over a little, and adds, mock-conspiratorily, "Even Godric fucks up sometimes."
John has to laugh at that. "I'll keep it to myself. And you're right, of
course. The transgression is one thing; what matters is what we do next,
after all."
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no subject
Date: 26/01/2022 21:52 (UTC)"Oh—so you've, um, come up through the system, as it were?" John has become very interested in hearing from people like this in particular—people who have not only been here a while, but completed program, as it were. "I—I don't want to pry so please feel free to tell me to bug off, but could I ask you a little about ... what that was like? And why you've stayed?"
no subject
Date: 27/01/2022 09:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 27/01/2022 22:08 (UTC)"Fair enough. I, ah, I doubt any of us come from places that are entirely fields of daisies, though," John says wryly. "So ... what was it like, to go through ... all this? And to return?"
no subject
Date: 28/01/2022 03:25 (UTC)no subject
Date: 28/01/2022 21:45 (UTC)"Good grief." John's eyes are wide with dismay, and he feels genuinely sorry for what this man went through. "That must have been ... how long did that—how long were you here, for that?"
no subject
Date: 29/01/2022 04:28 (UTC)Well, the part that he'll talk about, anyway.
no subject
Date: 01/02/2022 22:41 (UTC)A year. Well, he can live with a year.
"So—community?" John asks. "I can see that. I mean—it's like a small town. Only a little smaller than the town I came here from."
no subject
Date: 02/02/2022 22:37 (UTC)He offers John a little smile. "I'm happy to be part of your village, if you want me, man. I'm never sure what somebody's gonna need, but I can at least give it a go."
no subject
Date: 05/02/2022 16:08 (UTC)"Thank you." John smiles broadly, looking significantly more relaxed than he had at the beginning of their conversation. "I appreciate that—I, well, no man is an island and all that. Right now I think that, ah, most of my stuff is taken care of? But it's good to know I can count on you."
no subject
Date: 06/02/2022 05:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 11/02/2022 20:56 (UTC)"The, um, the food supply, mainly," John says. "And the Communion Hosts and wine, though that's, um, not really my purview, not for a bit, anyway."
no subject
Date: 13/02/2022 20:37 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14/02/2022 22:58 (UTC)"Of course. Thank you. I—I think I'll be all right, for now." He smiles. "And I won't ... I promise, I'm going to be working very hard not to do anything stupid again."
no subject
Date: 15/02/2022 05:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16/02/2022 21:39 (UTC)John has to laugh at that. "I'll keep it to myself. And you're right, of course. The transgression is one thing; what matters is what we do next, after all."